Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

 I have just finished reading this latest book from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, and have really loved it. Adichie is firmly one of my favourite authors. This is a huge book but I lapped it up, sneaking half hours to read it when I should have been doing other things...

It tells the story of two Nigerians, girl- and boyfriend at school, callled Ifemelu and Obinze, who both travel to the west as adults to find the "better life" they have dreamed and talked about as students.  Ifemelu gets a scholarship to the US, and Obinze finds work as an illegal immigrant in the UK. The book is partly their love story, but more about their experiences as immigrants, their relationships, how it is to be black (which wasn't an issue back home) and eventually how they return to Nigeria and pick up new lives there.

Ifemelu takes to blogging about her experiences as a "Non-American Black" and the sections on her blogging are brilliant, including some of her posts and readers' reactions.

For me the parts I read most avidly were the transitions, both how Ifemelu arrived in the US, and then how she felt about returning home after fifteen years abroad. I was surprised how completely I related to the descriptions of her initial reactions to the west. Her shock that it was not all as clean, wealthy, and beautiful as she had come to believe. Her feelings of confusion about everything. Her disappointment with the fruit and vegetables.

This is such a rich book, revealing about what it is to be an ex-pat, and a returnee, a woman, a friend, a desperate job-seeker, a lover, a writer. I highly recommend it.

Beauty out of rubble

The story of Coventry is well-known, but our recent visit there was another step forward for me in my recent quest to understand the cross more fully, and in my thinking about how God deals with human evil. 

Coventry was bombed on the night of 14th November 1940. Two-thirds of the city was burned down in the one night - by incendiary bombs dropped by German planes. The medieval cathedral was ruined. But when the cathedral's provost viewed the destruction the following morning, his words were: "Father, forgive" : not "forgive them" - he said "forgive" - in the knowledge that in this war, untold damage had been done on all sides: German cities had been wiped out too. All humanity needs forgiving.  His decision was to preserve the ruin as a memorial, and to build a whole new cathedral to be a symbol and a place of reconciliation.

In the rubble, medieval nails were found lying, fallen from the burned roof timbers. Someone fashioned three nails into a cross, and the "cross of nails" became a symbol of peace and reconciliation. One was sent to Berlin to a church which was also bombed to pieces at that time.

The cathedral stonemason noticed that two of the charred roof timbers had fallen down in the shape of a cross. He took them and nailed them together in that formation, and set them up in the ruins, as a symbol of hope and forgiveness. Once the rubble was cleared, the charred cross was set up on an altar in the old cathedral ruins, with the words "Father, forgive" enscribed on it.

The new cathedral was finished in 1962. It is an amazingly modern, light-filled building. The cathedral has an on-going and active ministry of reconciliation. Sitting right next to the remains of the old cathedral, it is a powerful sign of hope and new life. The whole place has an amazingly peaceful, calm atmosphere, pouring balm on your soul as you wander about.

To me, the message was that although God does not prevent terrible events such as the Blitz, although mankind does wanton harm to one another, although beautiful things are destroyed and lives pointlessly taken, although we cannot explain how human beings can be so stupid, so destructive and so evil - in spite of all of that, God is there in the midst, and he shines a light of hope right into the destruction - his cross falls into the rubble as a sure sign that he has ultimately overcome all of this - there will be new life, there is always hope, there will be redemption. If we can take part in the reconciliation and offer the comfort to others, and freely forgive, we can be part of the good, not part of the evil.

So I found another piece to put into the puzzle, of the meaning of the cross.





This is a tiny replica of the cross of nails, which you can buy in the gift shop.
This cross I like.

Technology and mission

This Thursday a guest lecturer, Mike Frith, came in to speak to the Thrive class about "The impact of technology on mission."

Technology has changed mission so much, from my own experience, in the twenty two years since I first went out as a short-termer. For one thing, then when I went as a 25yr old to a very rural corner of Zambia, there was no email, and we had only landline phones - except that the copper lines were regularly dug up and stolen, so in fact, we rarely had the use of the phone. Communication with family back in England was via letters, which took three weeks to arrive. The post office was a tiny concrete block hut with peeling blue paint. I used to drive there about once a week on my trailbike and collect two huge bagfuls of mail for the whole mission station, hoping that a few things would be for me. I remember the day when an American missio arrived with a laptop, and opened it up beside the swimming pool, and asked me if I wanted to send an "E-mail." 

The other side of the coin was that when I left Zambia after two years there, I didn't expect to ever see or hear from most people there again. (I was so lucky to be able to make a visit back there though, when we later lived in Zimbabwe - which was amazing.) I exchanged hand-written letters with a few people, which eventually dropped off. But now, after working in Zimbabwe for five years and then Uganda for eight, I have facebook friends from all three African countries, I message with some former students frequently on facebook, I hear from them by email - my connection has continued to grow with more and more people. It's really a joy. But, it could get out of hand!

Mike raised with the students how the growth of communication in particular has both huge benefits for mission, but also contains pitfalls. Security can be an issue, privacy of course, as well as cross-cultural issues - for example, if I never wore shorts during my eighteen years in Africa, out of respect for cultural norms there, now could I have a photo of me in shorts on my facebook page? What if a friend tags me in a photo so it appears even though I would not have put it up there myself? The good thing is, I never wear shorts! (thunderthighs...) But, what about with a good old G and T in my hand? Which I do partake of sometimes...

Mike raised a lot of other issues, including our growing use of screen to screen communication in place of face to face interaction. From my experience in African countries, people so much prefer face to face connection that they travel huge distances for meetings, and phone or email does not replace that adequately. In fact, you wouldn't necessarily take much notice of what anyone says on the phone - face to face is the thing. But that value might change, with everyone everywhere using email more and more. But wouldn't we all agree that "real" interaction is better than virtual? Jesus came down to live amongst us - doesn't that hold a great deal of meaning for us?

Mike ended with two great questions: 

1. What is behind the human need for more information and knowledge? Is it ultimately to know the divine or to replace Him (become omniscient ourselves)? How do you think those who don’t believe in God view this?

2. What is behind the need for humans to be more connected? Is it ultimately to connect with the divine or to connect to the whole world without needing Him (become omnipresent ourselves)? How do you think those who don’t believe in God view this?

 I think there is so much in those questions. Any thoughts...?! 

More about Jesus' death... still thinking...

After posting a few days ago on the Beautiful Gospel, under the heading "Why did Jesus die?" I thought I should say something more...

Because I feel as though the explanation of Jesus dying on the cross I gave, is true but it is once again not all of the truth.

Christianity is a mystery, it is not easily explained. And we have tended as humans to want simple, clear, step by step explanations - largely especially in western Christianity because we like things clear and logical.

So when I read through my last post, it seemed that I had done away with a belief in the idea that Jesus sacrificed himself for my sins (known as the penal substitution doctrine.) But, there is a lot in the Bible about the idea of Jesus being the sacrificial lamb, whose death paid the price for our sins. I do not believe we can actually write that out of the explanation. But that aspect is the one that western conservative Christianity has focussed on: the metaphor of God as judge but sending his Son Jesus to take the punishment for us. And I think that Brad Jersak, and many many others, have wanted to show that this is not the only way of seeing the cross, this is not the only truth - although it is true. But by emphasising this metaphor, we may have ended up showing God as an angry judge/headmaster, requiring appeasement, sending his own son to pay the penalty on our behalf - and not giving enough weight to the other sides of the story, such as God's love.

There are various different facets of Jesus' death and resurrection in the Bible, and I think they all partly explain what happened there on the first Good Friday. I don't have time nor probably the ability to do justice to this. But I wanted to point out that there are lots of ways of viewing the cross.

For example, John in his gospel compares Jesus being lifted up on the cross, to the bronze serpent which was set up on a pole in the wilderness for the sake of the Israelites, who were being bitten by poisonous snakes and dying. God told Moses to make a bronze serpent on a pole, so the Israelites could go and look at it when they got bitten, and be cured of the snakebite and not die. John says that Jesus was to be lifted up like the bronze serpent. In other words, we look to him on the cross for healing, and for life - not in this case for absolution.

Also, Jesus is likened to the Passover Lamb - well in that case, the Israelites did not kill the lamb to pay a substitutionary penalty for sins (that was a different sacrifice altogether) - but at the first Passover, it was so that they could paint the blood on their doorposts as a sign - so that the angel of death would not enter their houses but pass over them. So if Jesus is the Passover Lamb, it means he dies so that we, as believers, can be protected/saved from death - again, as a way to life.

When Jesus died, the veil in the Temple was torn in two. This symbolises that the barrier between God and human beings was ripped apart through Jesus' death - so that we can now have direct access to God in prayer, and know his presence, and as it says in Hebrews, approach his throne unafraid. So here Jesus' body being broken, is shown to mean that he opened the way for us to God.

Dan is good at putting things into diagrams to help him figure them out. After reading my last blog post, he showed me this diagram he had come up with:



Father...................Son                                                                                

           JUSTICE                                                                            

Words like sacrifice, substitution,                                                                         
propitiation, expiation        

Christ......................Satan

                                                                                                                                     VICTORY

Words  like defeat over demons, spiritual powers,

                                                                                                   crushing the serpent's head, defeat of evil etc.



                                                         

    

                                                           Jesus.............................Me
                                                                             LOVE

   Words about restoring me to God, reconciliation, 

giving me eternal life

So there are many ways of looking at the cross. Whilst I would wish that we didn't have a crucifixion at the heart of our faith... I am at the same time grateful for it - how could I not be. Thankfully, it was a death followed by a resurrection! Jesus didn't end up dead, but alive. So we don't have to stay grieving, we can look on to the empty tomb and the resurrection appearances, and to how Jesus speaks to us today in our hearts. Thank goodness for that!

Why did Jesus die?

When Jesus died by crucifixion at the first Easter, was it a human sacrifice? God hated the pagan practice of human or child sacrifice among some of the Canaanite people of Old Testament times (those who worshipped Molech, Leviticus 18:21.) Why would he have made his own son Jesus die, to appease himself, in the very manner he called despicable and abominable in the Old Testament? It doesn't make sense.

In the Old Testament, God did require animal sacrifices, as a way of dealing with the people's wrongdoings, to restore a right relationship with him. And it is true that in the New Testament, the book of Hebrews calls Jesus the one perfect sacrifice, paying for all our wrongdoings, doing away with the need for the sacrificial system.  Evangelical western Christianity has tended to home in on the language of sacrifice to explain the death of Jesus on the cross.

But I have read and heard a few things recently that have made me see it a bit differently. I have followed some debates as to whether Jesus was really appeasing his own father's anger on the cross. Could that be right? And when we say that Jesus "paid the price" for our sins, whom exactly was he paying? Was he paying God? Or satan? CS Lewis' first Narnia book, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, speaks to that a bit when the boy Edmund is captured by the White Witch - Aslan meets the Witch at night and offers himself instead of Edmund and so he Aslan is killed on the Stone Table. But the person demanding and extracting the payment is the Witch, not Aslan. She seems to be in the role of Satan. And after submitting to obey the ancient law (equivalent with the OT Law?) Aslan overcomes the law and death itself, is resurrected, and quickly joins his people who are already fighting the Witch, defeats and destroys her, restores all the poor creatures who have been subjugated to her, and frees Narnia to be the harmonious, beautiful, joyful land it was originally intended to be.

This story seems to fit with the understanding of the Christian Gospel which I heard described a few nights ago by Brad Jersak, under the title "The Beautiful Gospel." In his telling of the Gospel, he descries how, as often as human beings turn their back on God in rejection of him or his ways, God moves to where they are and faces towards them again, always seeking and longing to be face to face with them (us). He talked about something like "the unending pursuit of a relentless God" - but pursuing us with love, not anger. God longing for us to be in relationship with him.

In the beautiful Gospel, God never punishes us for our sin. That is not his desire nor his method. He does though let us take the consequences of sin. Every selfish act has bad consequences one way or another. For example, our friendships and family life get marred when we act selfishly or get angry, when we don't count each other's needs as equal to our own. Sometimes we don't suffer the consequences of our own selfishness, but other people do (like when we wear a cheap T-shirt made by a child-labourer somewhere else n the world) - and other times we do suffer consequences of other people's wrong-doing - like when greedy government policies result in poor planning and, for instance, the flooding of land which could have been avoided. Nobody is being punished - but we are living in a world where everybody's actions have consequences, for good or bad, and we are all bound up in it together.

So when Jesus died on the cross, it was not that God nailed him there to make him pay for us. It was that God entered the world as Jesus, God in man, and lived a perfect life. In telling the truth that he was the Son of God, and in gaining so much popular support because of his wise teaching and loving miracles, he incurred the anger of the ruling parties, who used the system to get him put to death. Jesus gave himself up to dying, he was not forced to do it by an angry God. It was a self-sacrifice, to carry through to the bitter end the battle between God and Satan. Jesus death was like the lightning rod for all of satan's hatred of God, for all the consequences of sin in the world, for all time. And the death was not the end - as in the Aslan story - Jesus overcame death, rose out of the tomb, and entered heaven. It is incredible - it is supernatural -, but, he is God.

Under the skin

Dan gave me this little metal bird for Christmas. My mother commented that she found it strange that we still gave each other African things. Well, it is in fact a robin, THE English bird, and Dan bought it at a Victorian market in Gloucester. But actually, it is a "junk metal" bird just like the ones sold in Zimbabwe and Uganda.

To me, it is not strange though. Even though we have been back two and a half years, and the memories don't pop up anything like as often as they did at first, still feeling for our homes and lives in Zambia, Kenya, Zimbabwe and Uganda are just beneath the surface and our roots there go deep.

I still can't get away from reading books set in African countries. I only read "Heart of Darkness" because it is set in Congo, and now I am, very appropriately, in the middle of "In the Footsteps of Mr Kurtz" - which is Michela Wrong's account of the fall of Mobutu and the beleagured history of Congo. Reading stories and descriptions of Africa makes me feel like I am glimpsing a very loved home - even if the events described are sad or terrible.

Sometimes a nostalgia or a pang will come out of the blue and stop me in my tracks.  The potted Christmas poinsettia on our kitchen table still reminds me of whole enormous poinsettia trees in our gardens in Africa. And today  when I walked into the supermarket, there was a display of potted jasmine plants. Seeing the pointy white buds in their distinctive sprays, about to open out into the most fragrant blossoms imaginable, made my heart suddenly clench - we had a hedge of jasmine in our garden in Harare, and its beauty and pungent scent accompanied the happy early years of our marriage and the births of our babies - as well as the difficult months before we left Zimbabwe.

Out of the blue.

Heart of Darkness

So many words have been written about this book over the years. But I have only just read it, so my thoughts are fresh - to me - , if not new. Having recently read the dystopian MaddAddam,one  of my reactions reading this was, it is not as graphic as the same book written today would be. The evil is hinted at, the suffering of the Africans forced to work for the colonialists is only sketched in. But in my view the horror is all the darker for that.

One way of thinking about the book is that it depicts a man's journey into his own soul, by journeying towards, first physically and then in understanding, another man, Mr Kurtz. And the ultimate revelation is that what lies within a person is "the horror, the horror"... The great Nigerian writer Chinua Achebe spoke out against Conrad and this book, criticising it at one point for using Africa and the exploitation and suffering of Africans, as a mere backdrop for the story of the mental collapse of a petty white man. It is true that the Congolese people are kept very much in the background, their behaviour seems parodied, they appear out of the forest on the river banks almost as a wallpaper for the journey. And they are called savages and so on. There is some truth in Achebe's criticism. But on the other hand, I wouldn't say this is the story of the collapse of one white man - it is a description of the collapse into madness, futility, and evil, of all the white people involved - and Conrad does seem to link this to the whole evil of colonialism and the wickedness of using its people, stealing from them, stripping the Congo of its resources using the very sweat and blood of the Congolese people to do it. It is really the story of the fall into evil of the whole human race. But the Congolese people are not being blamed, they are the victims, and so they do appear as the props. And clearly Conrad didn't have much understanding of them.

It is true the Congolese people in the book are dehumanised, except for one or two glimpses of genuine interaction - such as at the helmsman's very moment of death - and that is sad, and leaves the book feeling dated. I felt the same reading Graham Green's The Heart of the Matter, where there are no African people included in the story at all. But Conrad was writing at the end of the colonial period and he was writing to show the evils of the colonial enterprise, not condoning it. He objects manifestly to the ignorance and self-seeking greed of the various agents and station managers his character Marlow encounters. He seems to prefer Kurtz's complete madness to their hypocrisy and stupidity, which is why Marlow sides with Kurtz in the end. I would see the book as a step in the right direction, a first awakening to what was going on in the "Scramble for Africa".

Conrad ends the book with the none-too-subtle message that the heart of darkness is not in far off "uncivilised" places, but just around the next bend of the river,  - for all of us.

This made me wonder about our capacity for evil, again. As Christians we know the source of light, and He is real to us. And I said in my recent post on this, that we have the responsibility of being that light to other people. But still sometimes I am touched by fingers of that darkness, that sense of horror at the heart of it all, even hints of despair. When the evil that goes on seems too much, too prevalent. When the news shows young blood-covered Syrian men lying in hospital, no living relatives left, no solution to the fighting, the beautiful Syrian cities shot and bombed to rubble. When fighting in south Sudan goes on, and on. When the flood waters damaging our farms, homes and churches sit and sit and sit, and it still rains and rains. When I then think of Bangladesh flooding worse than this every year...

Is the human race a messy, selfish disaster, and our world a ruined, warming planet heading inevitably to its man-made end?

That would be one way of looking at it.

Another way is that God made our world, and made us, male and female, in his image. When he made it, it was all good (Genesis 1). When we messed up, he sent his son to show us the right way to go about life (John 3:16). And at the same time, to give us a way to be saved from our own personal particular sins. And he also sent his Spirit to be in us, to give us the strength and ability to live right. And he also promises that he will return to reign on earth, and that then the evil and all the pain will be No More. This painful, sometimes dark time, is the grace period God has allowed us, for as many as possible to get to know him. Also, the world is not hurtling downward to disaster and ruin like a run-away train. It may be heading towards its end, but, only at the pace and timing allowed by God, and under his control.

That gives me a lot of hope to hold onto. And we do need hope.