A taste of the future?

We are having a funny peculiar week - our children have gone. They are staying at my parents', for a whole seven days! Because my job carries on through the summer holidays, Mum offered to have the children stay for a while to cover some of my work days - not purely altruistically but, it is also hard work for her! But they are all very happy, and surviving. It is one of the benefits of moving back home, moving back within grandparental reach - and it is a good one.

We feel so strange because in the past we have left Abby and Alex with other families and friends, while we ourselves went away - but we have never stayed at home while they went away. It is actually bliss to eat supper in front of the TV and watch what we want to watch, and to get up for breakfast when we want to, rather than when Alex begins to starve noisily and digest his insides... It is peaceful... and restful... Dan says I am not a born mother. But, I know some of you will relate.

But also, I MISS them! Alex's funniness, Abigail's sweetness and little chats, the hugs, the piano playing, the giggles. But I don't miss the arguments, the fuming, the computer sounds, the scooter and waveboard lying in every corner of the kitchen I need to get to. But, it will be good to have them back...

Anyway, we took advantage of the weekend and went away, the two of us and Frodo, to the Brecon Beacons, across the border in Wales. Wales is part of us but a separate country as well, with its own ways, scenery, and language.

That town is pronounced Boolck. I believe. We called it Belch though.

We stayed in a gorgeous cottage B and B, with fabulous views from the windows of our room.

And a beautiful sunset - almost African.

On the Saturday morning we blithely picked a seven-mile hike, up the highest of the Black Mountains, called Waun Fach (pronounced Wine Vaack)... The scenery was out of this world, the sheep were fluffy, the hillsides were green, the sky was blue, Frodo was in heaven. We all got new hairstyles in the powerful wind that blew up on the hilltops. Gliders were whooshing past us with gentle sighs, sometimes below our eye-level. It was exhilarating and fabulous.

But at a certain point I discovered that one can't sit around and eat chocolate for nine months, and then expect to leap and bound up a Welsh mountain like a gazelle after all... I came over "all funny", when we were almost at the top - but we still had a climb and then about two hours more walking to get down again... I had to have a lie-down, twice. I came out all over in freezing sweat, and my legs went first heavy and then useless, and Dan nearly had to call the helicopters! It was actually scary and I began to feel panicky, which was unfortunate. It was worse than getting short of breath and achy legs. It was kind of systemic. I must be wildly unfit.

Anyway, thankfully, with Dan's calming presence, and the thought of cups of tea and a bath sustaining me, and with the help of a bar of chocolate which a couple passing by kindly gave me, and after two good lie-downs, I made it on and down without the help of the rescue services!

On Sunday we wended our way back home via Hay-on-Wye, the town of books (a town stuffed full of second-hand book shops, where there are posters saying the Kindle is banned there!), and then Hereford which is a beautiful historic town.

And so back to the Olympics and all Team GBs near-misses...

A beautiful day... at the skating park

Today Abigail was invited by a school friend to go on a lovely Cookery Day at an organic farm kind of place... so while she was away at her "finishing school" day for nice gels, Alex and I went to the other side of town, to the skating park. Alex had gone once before and wanted to bring his BMX bike and his roller blades, to try out the ramps and the dirt bike track. We went and he had the most fun hour or two whizzing around, his hair blowing in the wind... We enviously watched the teenage boys who can go all the way up the ramps and do a little jump at the top to hike the bike up and over the edge - Alex can't do that yet.

There were just a few other kids around, and a lot of graffiti, and empty coke bottles and beer cans, and an older man sitting on his own on a backpack, smoking and gazing into nothing. There were definitely no other mums around with handbags and dogs...

It crossed my mind that in a couple more years I wouldn't really want Alex to be frequenting the skating park, without me. Perhaps I shouldn't be encouraging him. But he should at least be prepared for those inevitable years...

So I thought of a little speech and began: "Alex, do you know about "Just Say No"?" "What?" "Do you know the golden rule, "Just Say No"?" "Um..." "Do you know what I'm talking about? This is just the kind of place somebody might come up to you and offer you drugs." "Mum, I know, (much rolling of the eyes) - and did you know that by my age, 38 % of kids have been offered drugs?" "How do you know that?! And have you ever been offered drugs?!" "No, Mum, of course not. We learned all about it in school."

Well, good. And Lord, help me - and protect my children!

A Warning...

When we were first setting up home here, we went mad for car-boot sales - which are like massive garage sales or second-hand flea markets. You can find everything at them, from ancient bikes, fishing rods, good quality second-hand furniture, books, clothes, plants, hamster cages... One day, we came away with a large brown bean-bag, a pedal-bin for the bathroom and a "tall boy" (wardrobe) for Alex - all items we specifically had gone to look for.

But we also learned a couple of lessons about false economy... For example, we bought a cd player for ten pounds - and when we got it home it had an awful squeak. But there's no come-back on electrical items bought at car-boot sales, so we just had to put that down to experience.

Another item we bought was a microwave, for fifteen pounds. We were right at the end of the day, and when I opened it I commented that we were getting some free dinner with it, as it had brown splashes all over the bottom. The seller actually said, "Oh I'm selling these things for my elderly mother - that was probably her tomato soup..." - without apologising for leaving it dirty! But we bought it in any case. When I cleaned it up at home, I found out that under one large splodge of soup was, in fact, a patch of rust. So they had probably splashed the soup on there on purpose... We decided to use it anyway, and it worked perfectly well.

However, recently an electrician came to check all the cables and sockets etc in our office at WTC. He failed the microwave oven there, as it was emitting too much radiation according to his little geiger counter thingy... So I told him about our microwave story, and he immediately made all kinds of tutting noises and told me that we should be very wary of rust in a microwave - as rust can allow the microwaves to leak out... Oops.

So today Dan and I took our bargain microwave to the city dump.

Going to "the tip" as it is called here, was like driving onto the set of Wall-E - but with different sections for every imaginable kind of waste - and large signs promising that they recycle 75 % of all household waste there which is good to know. But the microwave we had to hurl into a metal cage for "Metal waste" - to be squashed down by huge steel teeth and buried. So, no microwave popcorn for now, and I'll have to remember to take the bread out of the freezer in good time - until we find another dodgy old microwave, that is.

Strawberries and Cream...

My non-British friends may or may not know this, but if you were asked to epitomise an English summer, you would probably say: strawberries and cream, garden parties with Pimms and lemonade, Wimbledon on the TV, cricket (for some), picnics in the park/countryside, family days on the beach...

Nothing beats an English summer. But this year something has gone wrong...! Honestly, my first English summer for years! Worse than usually wrong, that is. OK, we always get quite a lot of rain, but this year, we have had a LOT a lot of rain. The wettest summer since records began 100 years ago. Flooding all over the country. Nine out of ten cricket matches, parties, BBQs, and open air concerts cancelled because of... the rain.

(not my pictures, I am glad to say)

Gloucester has thankfully escaped scenes like these...

Tewkesbury, just a few miles north of us, earlier in July

 According to the weather-men, the problem is the Gulf Jet Stream, which normally sweeps down and  around the Atlantic Ocean bringing us warm sunny summer weather on its right shoulder - but which has this year dropped south by a very long way, leaving us on its left shoulder and therefore in the rain and cold. For weeks. Temperatures of 12 to 15 degrees when it should be high 20s. These graphics I stole from Google give the idea:

I really needed the sunshine too... but, it looks as though this weather pattern is going to be with us until at least the end of July. Possibly until September. Aaaaaaggghhhhhh!!!

But we are trying to be British and stoical and making the best of it. The evenings are still light until nearly 10.00 pm, so that helps. Walking with Frodo come rain or shine also helps. Alex has managed to play a few cricket matches:

And yesterday Alex and I went strawberry-picking, and today we all feasted on meringues, strawberries and clotted cream... mmmmmmmm...

Beauty, William Morris and the Cotswolds

Yesterday it didn't rain... (for a couple of hours) so I took a break from washing bedding, picking up stuff off Alex's floor until I could actually see the floor, hoovering the stairs, etc, and Abby Frodo and I went for a walk. Gloucester is just on the edge of one of England's prettiest regions, called the Cotswolds. The Cotswolds is a range of gentle hills, mostly countryside, dotted with honey-coloured stone cottages and ancient, sweet villages. We went to Bibury, which is one of the best-known and most-visited villages. It has a clear, wide stream flowing along its main street and past rows of cottages, with ducks, and yesterday even adorable ducklings floating along, and you can see large spotted trout down in the water. We are fortunate to live close to such a beautiful part of England and look forward to exploring it more...

Apparently the famous artist, poet and designer William Morris once called Bibury "the prettiest village in England." William Morris created the most beautiful designs, so he must know. I used to have William Morris posters up on my bedroom walls, - in the days when I used to have arty posters on my walls. I've grown up loving his work but not knowing much about him. He lived from 1834 - 1896 and was one of the leaders of the "Arts and Crafts" design movement.

William Morris wallpaper designs

This is an excerpt I pinched from a website about him:

William Morris 1834 - 1896

Poet, artist, conservationist, craftsman, calligrapher, printer, socialist and "dreamer of dreams": William Morris was all of these and more. Born in 1834, much of Morris' life was influenced by the Cotswold countryside. Kelmscott Manor near Lechlade, not far from Bibury, became his country home from 1871 until his death in 1896. Kelmscott played an important part in his life and can still be visited today. Morris was one of the leaders of the Arts & Crafts Movement which flourished from 1850 - 1920 and spread across Europe and North America. Many of his followers remained in the Cotswolds, and this tradition is still alive today, and inspiration for artists and craftworkers in the countryside.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

I have just watched this warm, fun movie, about a group of retired Brits who decide for various reasons to move to India for their old age - to the "Best Exotic Marigold Hotel". It has some humorous, and poignant, observations about moving to another culture as well as many very funny lines. Also some beautiful, noisy and colourful scenes of Indian street life. From my very brief trip to India in 2007 for CV Mathews' enthronement, I second that India is "an assault on all the senses," that the comment of one character, "All life is here" is true, and also that the hair-raising shot of an overtaking bus honking and swishing across into its own lane just in time is all too authentic - the driving was noisier and more frightening by far than in Uganda.

It is a comedy, and it has some fairly ridiculous incidents and probably a lot of cliches. But, I enjoyed it very much and I totally recommend it. The most obvious observation on moving into a new culture is the truism that, the more you put into a thing, the more you get out of it. The characters who ventured out into the streets and markets and then into the lives and finally homes of Indian friends, were the ones who came to love it the most and made the best new life in India.  Another point made simply but well was that you must, must show respect toward and interest in people; and when you are invited into someone's home and are not sure what is expected, just be considerate, and real. Just as you would with a new friend of your own culture, in fact. A more insightful observation came across more subtly: early on the narrator described the group as "adapting to new ways and new habits like Darwin's finches"; but towards the end of the film she says, "Perhaps we were foolish to think we could adapt at our ages. We are too stuck in our ways." Early on in transition to a new culture, you can think that you are making fantastic progress, you know so much already, and you are adjusting brilliantly to the new life. But as you go along, you find out more and more how deep culture goes, both for you and for those you now live among, and you find out just how much you do not know and will probably will never know or completely understand. The challenge becomes greater and harder the longer you stay. That is my belief. Doesn't mean you shouldn't keep at it, keep learning - but you have to be humble, and very patient about it!

Two very amusing lines: when one of the wives is annoyed with her husband, she says to him: "When I want your opinion I'll give it to you." And the one that appears in the trailer, - "In India we have a saying, everything will be all right in the end. So if everything is not all right, it means it is not the end yet." Good one. I do recommend this film for a fun and feel-good couple of hours set in another bright and sunny country.

One Year On...

It is just over a year since we left Uganda. Can't believe it has been that long already. For me the first half of the year went by soooo slooowly. Everything seemed to be difficult and challenging; it seemed like I was climbing an interminable mountain of tasks and church visits. But in about March, when the church visits were over, we started choosing how to spend weekends, we stopped travelling about, and when life settled into more of a routine, then life quickened and became manageable, work became less scary and more under control, and things suddenly started to rush along. I began to feel as though I was building a new life, making new friends, actually enjoying things. It partly coincided with my embarking on my chocolate cure... And largely was just a matter of time, as relationships and involvements do grow slowly.

So suddenly I find myself struggling to believe we have been here a year.

Looking back on my experiences, I would probably give these tips to anyone starting out on the returnee lark...

Give yourself plenty of time, as in, don't rush into any commitments or job if possible, and allow yourself to have breaks, weekends to yourselves as a family, or with your family or familiar friends, every other weekend at least. It is tiring and you need downtime...
Don't expect to feel at home for ages. Don't feel sad if you don't yet feel at home.
Treat yourself to the things you have been missing... I didn't let myself indulge in either much chocolate or much alcohol until about February. I don't know why really - partly because I was doing the shopping, and I was trying to keep within a very small budget.
Don't pretend you know what is going on, but ask all the questions (eg what was that TV show, what does that word mean, how do I pay for a parking ticket...), - keep asking for help.

That is just a few things.

I asked Abby and Alex what things they are still missing and what things they are enjoying about living here, one year on.

Abby is still missing the campus life, the freedom to roam and play over such a big green open area. And she said she is missing the lovely swimming - the few pools we have gone to here are so crowded in comparison to the Colline or Kingfisher. She is also missing the food that she liked in Uganda, in particular, the sausages there! English sausages are all too spicy or peppery. And the Paramount gouda that the rest of us tired of - no cheese in England is that perfect blandness for her...! But, she loves her school and the friends she has made here, and seeing her grandparents and cousins so much more often.

Alex is also missing the freedom of campus and all the playing outdoors barefoot. He misses his friends on campus. But, he loves the fact that there is so much to do here, as in places to go for day trips and outings, and the sports he is able to do here - hockey club and cricket club. He loves the ease of getting things he wants... (he has just spent all his saved-up pocket money on a stunt scooter - ordered on Amazon and it arrived in two days.)

I am enjoying the countryside and almost daily walking, the constant change of the trees and the appearing of new flowers; still loving the smooth roads, the convenience of life in general (atms everywhere, post offices everywhere, a corner shop to buy milk just a two minute walk away,) the electricity being on all the time, internet working all the time; seeing my family often; variety of diet; being able to drink sherry or a gin and tonic while I am cooking, and anytime (don't worry, I am not drinking very much at all!); being a normal anonymous person everywhere I go. The things I still miss about Uganda, as well as friends, are: the sunshine, the light and warmth in the air; being able to throw on a t-shirt every day without thinking about it; the warmth of daily encounters with Florence, students, colleagues and neighbours; the birds; the beauty.

So it is still a mixture, and it probably always will be. Looking back, it hasn't been an easy year, but, we have been through an unavoidable valley and we are coming into the new land.

The thin ice revisited...

Thinking back over my previous post, I felt that the metaphor I used about walking on thin ice for eleven months was not quite right, as it sounds ungrateful to all those who were there for us and helped us through that time. Let alone, to God who looked after us. We did have many one-off gifts from churches and individuals, and the offer of help from family, and, help from family. Our bank balance never even got scary over the time, it kind of stayed at a certain level. My job was also a gift which helped us keep going.

I know my problem - my security is too much based in human things. My faith is in a salary, a home, paid bills, a plan, school places for the children, good relationships with parents, colleagues and friends.
Like I was saying before about Jonah, my security really needs to be in God. O ye of little faith.

I hope that I have learned a bit more faith through this experience. I think I feel less anxious about the future, that I know everything is in hand, someone is looking after us... Someone with a better plan than mine. Someone who knows a lot more than me.

We were walking over a long long lake of ice, but we had boats nearby. And maybe also what I needed to learn was that, the lake was never very deep after all.

Dan has gone to work! At Redcliffe College

Today is a Red Letter Day, for me if for no-one else... Dan has started work!!!! This is officially his first day as Head of Theology at Redcliffe College. No matter that the students all just left for the summer break... Dan is there, getting ready for their return, manning the college during the break, ready to welcome visitors and potential students, attending planning meetings, moving into his new office, (OK, still tweaking his PhD - although the first draft is 99 % done), and, earning some money!

Redcliffe is a wonderful college that we are blessed to be part of. It is a missions training college that moved from London about 25 years ago, into a beautiful Georgian building here in Gloucester. The staff team is quite small and so everyone is involved up to their necks, which makes for a good community.

Redcliffe has students from about 30 countries, training in theology, missions, and cross-cultural studies. It is accredited by the University of Gloucestershire, so that the students come away with recognised BAs and MAs. There are a number of interesting MA courses including one in Justice, Advocacy and Reconciliation, one in Member Care, one in Sports and Mission, MAs in European and Asian Mission studies, and others.

www.redcliffe.org

Our connection with Redcliffe seems to have always been by divine appointment, and goes back to 2002, when we had to leave Zimbabwe at very short notice. We had friends, Nick and Jenny Cole, who worked at Redcliffe for a while, and on a previous home leave we had visited them, and Nick had mentioned in passing that Redcliffe always had "visiting scholars," and if we ever wanted a sabbatical we could all go and live in the college accommodation and do some teaching for a term. So, when we were given three months to leave Zimbabwe, we contacted the college and asked if they could use us straight away!

Sure enough they took us on, so we moved into a college family house (five families with ten children all under the age of ten in one big house, sharing one kitchen, one washing machine, one living room...! Chaos but a lot of fun.) It was completely a gift from God for us that year. Abby was two and Alex a baby when we moved there. I don't know what else we would have done at that point. So we were extremely thankful to Redcliffe and to God. Also, Redcliffe was just starting up the MA courses that year, and getting a big review done, so the lecturers were very happy to have Dan and me teaching some of the undergrad and core courses, so that they could work on these big projects. We loved our year there.


So when in 2010 we felt it was about the right time to leave UCU, we contacted Redcliffe again (as well as some other places) and the principal came back to us saying that their head of Theology would be retiring, and they would be interested in having Dan as his replacement.

We are very happy to have this work, still involved with missions and particularly preparing people to go out on missions, living in this beautiful area of England, and well placed for all my family.

Today feels like a miracle, though, because, although Rob the principal emailed Dan that they did want him for the job about a year and a half ago, they were unable to give us anything definite, in writing, until May this year! So, we moved to Gloucester largely in faith, - faith in God and faith in Rob Hay(!), that the job would in actual fact be Dan's. It has been like walking on thin ice over a huge, eleven-month-long lake, trusting that we would reach the other side and find firm ground. Well, today it seems that we have reached it. Whew!!!!!

Dan's office is the top right window, in the roof! More photos to follow...

This shows the accommodation for students, and the garden with a sweet playground for little children, and a beautiful, huge conker tree.

The same tree, with crocuses in early Spring.