Twenty Years On (well, nearly)

On Saturday we made a two and a half hour trek back to All Nations Christian College - where Dan and I met in January 1996. Some of our fellow-students had organised a reunion for students who were there between 1994 and 1996.

All Nations is "the other" missionary training college in England (Redcliffe being the other "other".) I went there after two years in Zambia, to do an MA in Missiology. Dan came over for one term as a sort of semester abroad, whilst he was studying at CIU in South Carolina. 

At first on Saturday as I walked into the buzzing hall I felt detached, then overwhelmed as individuals loomed out of the crowd and back into my consciousness - names had to be checked on name-badges - adjustments made for aging, and huge great teenage kids beside now-mums-and-dads - but once those barriers had been crossed, it was amazing. 

The men had changed more than the women. Men actually change shape as they age - their necks and jaws widen, and their hairline changes (some more than others). Women simply fill out a little bit, maybe go grey, but usually cover that up, and generally get more beautiful. We all had changed since 1996 - we all had wrinkles and weight which we did not have back then, and we all had a burden of experiences, both great ones and hard ones. One lovely thing was that several of the tutors were there, all having left the college in the intervening years -so it was really touching and fun that they came as well. Our principal of that time, Chris Wright, and his wife Lizzie were there, seeming exactly the same, and Chris gave us a great and relevant talk from Deuteronomy (a book he taught a much-loved course on whilst we were there as students.) 

We had about two hours of sharing our stories and showing a few slides. It was uplifting and, honestly, exciting to hear of all the work that has been done, in countries across the globe, by the All Nations class of 1994. Most of us had been overseas for almost all the years since then, and a few are still working abroad, and happened to be home on leave so were able to come. Just a few have mainly been in Christian work in this country rather than overseas. Sadly four of our number had died, three to illness, but one, Dave Roberts had been murdered as he was intervening in a robbery. We remembered them and prayed for their families.

It felt so normal to be together again once the initial strangeness had thawed. It felt wonderful to see the teenage kids playing together - like a family reunion. It was gratifying and I felt proud (in a good way I think) of all the years of kingdom work that have been done since we were students together in 1996. And grateful to God for all these dedicated, kind, fun people. 

I also felt greatly encouraged in our work at Redcliffe, which is so similar - that our students will likewise be going on to dedicate their lives to God's work in various forms, and that in twenty years time they might get together and reminisce, and be glad. 

Technology and mission

This Thursday a guest lecturer, Mike Frith, came in to speak to the Thrive class about "The impact of technology on mission."

Technology has changed mission so much, from my own experience, in the twenty two years since I first went out as a short-termer. For one thing, then when I went as a 25yr old to a very rural corner of Zambia, there was no email, and we had only landline phones - except that the copper lines were regularly dug up and stolen, so in fact, we rarely had the use of the phone. Communication with family back in England was via letters, which took three weeks to arrive. The post office was a tiny concrete block hut with peeling blue paint. I used to drive there about once a week on my trailbike and collect two huge bagfuls of mail for the whole mission station, hoping that a few things would be for me. I remember the day when an American missio arrived with a laptop, and opened it up beside the swimming pool, and asked me if I wanted to send an "E-mail." 

The other side of the coin was that when I left Zambia after two years there, I didn't expect to ever see or hear from most people there again. (I was so lucky to be able to make a visit back there though, when we later lived in Zimbabwe - which was amazing.) I exchanged hand-written letters with a few people, which eventually dropped off. But now, after working in Zimbabwe for five years and then Uganda for eight, I have facebook friends from all three African countries, I message with some former students frequently on facebook, I hear from them by email - my connection has continued to grow with more and more people. It's really a joy. But, it could get out of hand!

Mike raised with the students how the growth of communication in particular has both huge benefits for mission, but also contains pitfalls. Security can be an issue, privacy of course, as well as cross-cultural issues - for example, if I never wore shorts during my eighteen years in Africa, out of respect for cultural norms there, now could I have a photo of me in shorts on my facebook page? What if a friend tags me in a photo so it appears even though I would not have put it up there myself? The good thing is, I never wear shorts! (thunderthighs...) But, what about with a good old G and T in my hand? Which I do partake of sometimes...

Mike raised a lot of other issues, including our growing use of screen to screen communication in place of face to face interaction. From my experience in African countries, people so much prefer face to face connection that they travel huge distances for meetings, and phone or email does not replace that adequately. In fact, you wouldn't necessarily take much notice of what anyone says on the phone - face to face is the thing. But that value might change, with everyone everywhere using email more and more. But wouldn't we all agree that "real" interaction is better than virtual? Jesus came down to live amongst us - doesn't that hold a great deal of meaning for us?

Mike ended with two great questions: 

1. What is behind the human need for more information and knowledge? Is it ultimately to know the divine or to replace Him (become omniscient ourselves)? How do you think those who don’t believe in God view this?

2. What is behind the need for humans to be more connected? Is it ultimately to connect with the divine or to connect to the whole world without needing Him (become omnipresent ourselves)? How do you think those who don’t believe in God view this?

 I think there is so much in those questions. Any thoughts...?! 

Under the skin

Dan gave me this little metal bird for Christmas. My mother commented that she found it strange that we still gave each other African things. Well, it is in fact a robin, THE English bird, and Dan bought it at a Victorian market in Gloucester. But actually, it is a "junk metal" bird just like the ones sold in Zimbabwe and Uganda.

To me, it is not strange though. Even though we have been back two and a half years, and the memories don't pop up anything like as often as they did at first, still feeling for our homes and lives in Zambia, Kenya, Zimbabwe and Uganda are just beneath the surface and our roots there go deep.

I still can't get away from reading books set in African countries. I only read "Heart of Darkness" because it is set in Congo, and now I am, very appropriately, in the middle of "In the Footsteps of Mr Kurtz" - which is Michela Wrong's account of the fall of Mobutu and the beleagured history of Congo. Reading stories and descriptions of Africa makes me feel like I am glimpsing a very loved home - even if the events described are sad or terrible.

Sometimes a nostalgia or a pang will come out of the blue and stop me in my tracks.  The potted Christmas poinsettia on our kitchen table still reminds me of whole enormous poinsettia trees in our gardens in Africa. And today  when I walked into the supermarket, there was a display of potted jasmine plants. Seeing the pointy white buds in their distinctive sprays, about to open out into the most fragrant blossoms imaginable, made my heart suddenly clench - we had a hedge of jasmine in our garden in Harare, and its beauty and pungent scent accompanied the happy early years of our marriage and the births of our babies - as well as the difficult months before we left Zimbabwe.

Out of the blue.

The Missionary community, and, Marriage - a tender plant?

This week I am giving a talk to a group of about-to-set-off Crosslinks mission partners, on Singles and Marrieds on the mission field, and then How to Sustain your Marriage on the mission field. I guess, they can't simply magic up the couple with the perfect marriage to call upon  - they have to make do with what they've got! I mean, I am not the expert by any means. But, this is what I am going to share about, so I thought I would copy it here in case anyone is interested...


1. Is my introduction...

2. Ephesians 2:19-22 This passage was addressed to the Christians in Ephesus who came from different backgrounds, and in particular to Gentile and Jewish Christians – people who would never have mixed before. The passage is all about unity. Paul uses various images to show how we all belong together: first fellow-citizens, then members of a household. But the main one is in  vv 20 – 22, that we are living stones being built into a living temple or dwelling place for God.

·      What does that image imply to you about us as individuals, or married couples?

                      – we are each important

-       we need to work together

-       we are not working alone, but bolstered on every side

-       Christ is our cornerstone, he is with us in everything we do and in our relationships

-       We have an incredible and sacred purpose.

3. Be aware that your missionary community will probably be a very mixed bag of people, from different backgrounds and at different stages of life. In fact, in my experience, missionaries are often pretty strong characters, pretty quirky, stubborn, driven… (do you agree??)

·      So, it helps if you can remember that you are all like a team, working together for God’s purposes and kingdom. Intentionally see yourselves as a team. If you are not on a compound or in one workplace, there may be other missionaries working near you in your city or town or area – you can have the same attitude 

·      As people who are being built up together into one building, look out for each other and help each other. Bear one another’s burdens.

·      The passage in John 13: 34,35 reminds us of Jesus famous words, that we should love one another. Remember it is part of our witness.

4. So this is all a way of saying, that whether you are married couples, or singles, you are part of this – you have a role to play. And there are lots of ways singles and married couples can help each other out and build each other up. In fact, we all need each other and have a lot to offer each other.

5. It can happen that the singles tend to stick together and hang out together, and the married couples keep themselves to themselves or just spend time with other families who have similar age children. There is also the thing of :The Grass is Always Greener… - singles can often be envious of those who are on the mission field in families, especially if they are lonely. But equally, an over-worked, tired out, mother of three or four, can feel very jealous of a single missionary who is able to go off to the village for the weekend, travel up-country for a local friend’s wedding, or spend a day off relaxing by a pool, without being constrained by children and what they can do and tolerate. So try to avoid jealousy of each other’s state, and instead, see how you can be friends, allies, team-mates in the mission. You can really help each other out, and benefit a lot from friendships with each other.

6. For example, it can be really nice for a single person to spend time in a family. I remember it being so lovely to just join in with a family, when I was a single. That can be a real blessing.

7. Also pretty often a family will have invested in a vehicle whilst a single mightn’t feel a need to do that, maybe as they can use public transport more easily – so if a family can offer a ride to someone into town for shopping or an outing, that can be a great blessing.

7. Also singles can really help families out with babysitting so the parents can get an evening by themselves and so on.

8. And it can be really nice for a couple to be friends with younger people or single people and get a different perspective on the country, and the work, from them.

10. But, married’s, don’t take advantage of your single friends either and assume that they are there to be another pair of hands for you. Or that they are free to house sit or pet sit at your convenience. That can be really annoying! Singles have their own life.

MARRIEDS

Introduction 

I don’t know about you, but I think marriage is quite hard at the best of times. A marriage is like a plant, it needs nourishing and tending, or it can just wither and fail, or get overgrown, without anyone meaning it to.

Life on the mission field puts all kinds of new and extra pressures onto your marriage… list them – change,

loss of usual support systems,

new church (if any),

adjustments to heat, new food, different way of shopping,

roles changing, husband/wife might be home a lot more than before if your office is at home (or no office) – as happened in our case -, or might be away a lot more than before if travel is involved,

might be isolation and thrown onto each other more than before;

husband/wife might be involved in ministry while the partner is more at home – then one can feel envious of the other, meeting more people, getting stuck into the work, while the other is “trapped” with the children, no vehicle, etc etc.

If you know about your situation, I suggest that you try to foresee what if these things might cause tension or stress for you and discuss what you could do that might help.

I have set down a few strategies for nourishing the plant of your marriage, and for protecting your marriage – in various areas where stress can arise, based on my and Dan’s experiences and families around us, and hope to offer some helpful suggestions – or if nothing else, just to highlight them so that you can think ahead and pray ahead into them.

1. Before You Set out… 

ò Try to sort out any ongoing issues (so you don’t carry the “luggage” over there with you) – if nec, talk to a leader, pray with a third person present

ò Decide to be intentional about your marriage

ò Pray into any issues you know about in the situation you are going into.

2. Nourish your Marriage 

ò Pray together frequently, read Bible together

ò Take time out together … (Evening once a week? A weekend every so often? A holiday once a year. You need time to relax and talk to each other. Especially if you are in a place where your home is open to visitors – you can end up being with other people a lot of the time.  I had to really ask Dan if we could plan in times to go away for a break – put them in the diary ahead so I knew they were coming up.)

ò Give each other time off  (I went to climb a mountain with 3 other mums – such a great break! Dan went on conferences, and climbed Mt Elgon)

ò Build each other up, in public and in private (Might be that one of you gets discouraged, make sure you are an encouragement to each other; praising your spouse in front of others is so upbuilding for a marriage. Can be tempting to use a conversation to make digs at your husband – but, don’t do it – it is just undermining to your marriage and does not help, ever.)

ò Communicate all the time (don’t assume the other person knows what you are thinking or feeling, even if it is obvious to you that you are overwhelmed) 

3. Protect your Marriage

ò Boundaries (Talk about the book Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend – saying we need to have boundaries – eg what times should be kept sacred as family time, how many commitments you should take on, how long the in-laws can come to stay for. etc etc. A person who doesn’t have boundaries will eventually feel abused and taken advantage of. And on the mission field, there are so may people wanting your time money and efforts, and so many requests, and so many needs, it is easy to get overwhelmed. Problem is, people’s boundaries do vary, and if that is between a husband and wife, it can be difficult and cause a lot of problems … for us, I have much narrower boundaries than Dan – he would invite everyone over for dinner, take on more and more roles, meet with students at supper time or Saturday morning or whenever they came to the house – and it was too much for me. I found myself feeling resentful. So, it is important for a married couple to talk about their boundaries, what is OK for you both, and, you have to compromise. You can’t just tell your spouse they are wrong about where they feel the boundary is! If you are meeting each other part way on things, you won’t get that resentment which is very divisive.)

ò Money matters –  Of course, all couples work differently on budgeting and so on, but as a potential flash point for stress in your marriage, it would be really helpful if you could talk about your budget, ie what you get each month and what are the outgoings, and then decide together how much you can give away. Then you won’t feel it is out of control… We also had to make a “policy” between us of who we would give to, because we would get so many random students coming needing help with their fees or bus fares, people we didn’t even know, and there were eight thousand students by the time we left! So, we couldn’t help everyone who came to our door!! So we decided to only help people we knew, and friends we knew. Unless God really spoke to us in a random case. )

ò Forgiveness v anger  (Ephesians 4:26 – do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Again, it is partly about not assuming your partner knows you are angry! Anger is inevitable and not necessarily wrong – but, you must tell your partner and talk it through properly – ie both of you put your point of view and listen to each other. Bottling anger up is the worst thing you can do. Talk about it, then make a decision about what to do, together. If you can’t agree, leave it for then and try again the next day. The essential other side of the coin is forgiveness. You will have to forgive each other, often. Needs a lot of grace.

ò Purity  (It is sadly the case that missionaries do mess up their marriages, they, you, are not immune. That is probably the biggest thing to realize.  Especially when you might be in stressful, or isolated, situations. This is why it is so important to nourish and protect your marriage as we have been talking about – because, if it is already going badly, and then a kind, understanding, helpful, younger, fun, less worn-out young man or woman comes along, a person can be drawn to that, and even fall for that person. So, beware, work on your marriage to keep it alive and well, and avoid situations or even particular  friendships that seem to have potential for sin. Avoid flirting!!! It may seem harmless, but it can be very damaging. Having a person you are accountable to can really help. Both Dan and I had prayer partners we met with once a week if possible – so that person would know everything you were doing and going through, and could challenge you  - this really helps.

4. Books:  Boundaries 

                  The Mystery of Marriage by Mike Mason - the best marriage book I have ever read.

Our Zimbabwe experience in a teeny tiny nutshell

Since I gathered a few photos of our time in Zimbabwe, for my talk on Saturday, I thought I'd post them here. There is loads not included. We loved Zimbabwe, and left reluctantly.

I went to Zimbabwe with Crosslinks, to teach Old Testament in a small Anglican theological college, called Bishop Gaul Theological College. It was the provincial college for the Province of the Church of Central Africa, ie for Zimbabwe, Malawi, Zambia and Botswana. But, since it was such a large Province, students normally trained in little local colleges - and we only had twenty something students at the provincial one!

After one year, I married Dan, and we had a wedding celebration in Harare, in our friends' garden. Since I had become close to an older couple called Joe and Zilla Chiphudla, they demanded some bride price for me, so Dan paid them a goat for me! The goat then had twin kids - so they were really pleased!

Both our children were born in Zimbabwe. Babies are much loved there as you would expect. This is Pilani, one of our friends, meeting Abigail. She wasn't loving it...

This is when Alex was born - as you see, everyone comes to visit the newborn! These were some of the gorgeous ladies from our church, All Souls Mount Pleasant. Alex was only one day old! The visitors would always sing some hymns and say prayers aloud for the baby - it was a very special time, for me, and for the white farmer's wife in the bed next to mine!

A typical Jacaranda-lined suburb street of Harare. We lived right in Harare, a modern city (although it felt like it was still in the 1950s - but clean, wide streets, potholes fixed all the time, nothing like Kampala... at least, it was then; now, it is getting more like Kampala.)

This is me with Chad, the principal of the Anglican college. He is such a lovely man. He is now the Bishop of Harare, a job which came in very difficult circumstances, although things are better now.

Because I had previously lived in rural Zambia, I always longed to get out of the city into the other Zimbabwe. We made friends early on with a couple called Cuthbert and Shylet, and Shylet's mother lived in what were called "communal lands" about 45 minutes drive from Harare. (ie villages, in farming land, but, rough stony land, which the settlers allowed the blacks to live on - Zimbabwe's history is not all sunlight and roses...) This is me with Shylet's mother at her home.

In Zimbabwe, you usually did not use a person's name once they had children, you called them "Mama eldest child's name" - so we never learned this lady's own name!! Although we went there very often. I was called Mama Vimbai once Abigail was born - as her Shona name is Vimbainashe, shortened to Vimbai.

Dan meanwhile worked in an interdenominational college called Domboshawa Theological College. He was the academic dean there, and acting principal for a while.

We ended up leaving at very short notice, because a new bishop (before Chad) was appointed who was a political appointment, and found reasons to terminate all the contracts of white missionaries or clergy. Many Zimbabwean clergy also left the country at that time. It is a long story, but it involved Dan being accused of being in an assassination plot!! and getting phone calls from the War Veterans' Office accusing him of mistreating a war veteran (which would lead to many scary things if found to be true). Needless to say, neither of these things were true! It was all quite exciting, in its way. Alex was a newborn and Abby less than two at this point... In the end we found out we would be leaving, because a journalist rang us up and said, "I am hearing that you have been fie-ad - is it true?" It was the first we knew of it - but it came to pass.

God had already prepared a way for us and our young family though - and we were able to move to Redcliffe College within a few months, and start teaching there as Visiting Lecturers, while we looked for our next placement in Africa - which turned out to be, Uganda Christian University...

Silence

Yesterday I finished reading Silence, by Shusaku Endo. It is amazing. Written in the 1960s by a Catholic Japanese author, thought of by some as a Japanese Graham Greene. It is so thoughtful, and beautifully written, simply drawing pictures with just the sparest phrases and details. Just like in art, the negative spaces make it meaningful.

The story is of two Portuguese missionary priests who travel via Goa to Japan in the early 1600s, to support the Christians in Japan who are being severely persecuted. Several hundred thousand people had become Christians through the missionary work of priests back in the 1500s. For a while Christianity was accepted but then the shoguns began to turn against it because of its connection with the west; they saw it as an insidious attempt at colonialism. So Japanese Christians and missionaries were tortured,   and when they didn't apostasize, killed, often by crucifixion, or by being tied to stakes in the sea. Tens of thousands were killed, and many more apostasized, but it is thought that many lived on as hidden Christians.

Word had got about that an older Portguguese priest, Ferreira, had apostasized and had taken a Japanese name and even a wife, and was now writing tracts against Christianity. The main character of the book, Rodriguez, wanted to track down Ferreira, whom he had known and admired as his tutor in seminary, in order to make sure this tale wasn't true - because he was unable to accept it.

Eventually Rodriguez himself is captured and has to face the torturers himself. His thought processes, his questioning, and his final coming to terms with his fate and with God are fascinating to follow.

Among the threads which run through the book, one of the most interesting to me was the challenge frequently given by Rodriguez's antagonists, who claim that Christianity has failed to take hold in Japan because the Japanese had never understood God in the Christian sense, but that all along they had made their own version of the Christian God. The whole study of contextualization I find very interesting. What's wrong with a Japanese version of Christ? Rodriguez is convinced that there are true Christians here, since they are willing to endure tortures and die for their faith. In fact he sees many of them as better Christians than himself, and he their priest. This dynamic is so interesting, as is the way his understanding of himself grows through the book.

Another thread is the use of sounds and silence. The silence of the title is the apparent silence of God in the face of the persecution of those who love him. Rodriguez is constantly calling on God to break this silence, to no avail, but he hears God speak towards the end of the book,  - apparently commanding him to deny him. But if he apostasizes, will he not be rejected by God for ever, a shameful creature despised by all, like Ferreira? All through the book, sounds are described, the sounds of the sea especially, and of birds in the night, and of voices heard in the dark.

The main character sometimes narrates and sometimes is described. He is a sympathetic and very human figure. I was touched by how his relationship with Jesus is so real, and by how the image of the suffering Jesus helps him deeply throughout the events of the book. Many times he calls on memories of pictures of Christ's face, and describes it as a face he loves dearly. It comforts him tremendously. (He only sees a physical image of Christ's face once in the book, because all Christian artifacts have been destroyed or hidden away - and it is when he is being commanded to trample on it in apostasy.) This devotion, in the sense of deep love for a person, Jesus, is lacking in our sometimes rather dry wordy evangelical faith, I feel. I am going to try for more devotion.

I can't give away what happens, but it gives the reader a huge amount to think about. What does come out in the end so powerfully, is the unconditional love of God for all his people both weak and strong. It is a beautiful message coming from quite a shocking tale, a tough book to read, but incredibly worth it.

I am interested in this story of Christianity in Japan because my own great-grandparents and grandparents were missionaries with CMS in Japan, from the late 1800s to 1938. I have so far never managed to look into it very much, but this book has made me much more aware than before, that they were part of a very fascinating story.

Give Me This Mountain, by Helen Roseveare

Helen Roseveare when she was a medical missionary in Congo

I have just finished reading Dr Helen Roseveare's autobiography, "Give Me This Mountain." It is a classic missionary life story, telling of Helen's teenage years, university life as a medical student and as a star hockey and cricket player, her conversion, and then her first placement as a WEC missionary doctor, in the Congo in the fifties and sixties, pre and during the independence struggle.

It is so honest, which is why I loved reading it. She writes in a real and lively way, so that you feel that you can see the sparkle in her eyes as you read it. And it is almost like following a modern-day blog, in that, she recounts so many of her thought processes and emotions along the way, and the mistakes she made, the struggles she had, her disagreements with other missionaries, her feelings of being the odd one out, of loving the Africans too much, or of being imposed upon too much, her feelings about being single, and much more.

It is also a fascinating account of how just a few missionaries, in a country with no trained doctors of its own (then), managed to set up several hospitals and training centres: Helen herself established and monitored over forty local clinics in the surrounding areas, among many other projects. She sounds like such an independent, gifted woman, much-loved by the Congolese she worked with and for, and yet often she apparently felt lonely and misunderstood, and according to her book she felt as though she achieved little.

This book culminates with the account of how the hospital and the missionaries fared in the violent days of independence. Many left, but she did not, and was captured at one point by Congolese soldiers and even raped. She does not go into that at all in the book, apart from hinting that she and the others all suffered physically at the hands of the soldiers. But her willingness to suffer and to stay in the country, to side with the people, to try to understand, is inspiring.

Helen Roseveare 

I am now looking forward to reading the second book she wrote, about her return to Congo only a short while after these events. It is called, "He Gave us a Valley."

I recommend this book to all you medical and missionary types out there. Maybe some of you already know it, it is a well-known classic - I am glad I finally came across it.

Armed and dangerous

Part of my lecture this morning was on "spiritual warfare". I think it is easy to forget that we are involved in a fight, a fight for our own minds. I am cutting and pasting just a little bit of my lecture here:

Definition of spiritual warfare (from Voelkel, Jack, Spiritual Warfare in Mission, Downers Grove:IVP, 2012):

“Spiritual warfare in its simplest form is our partnership with God as he advances his kingdom… Satan and his forces often counter-attack, seeking to thwart us and our inroads with every scheme, wile or fiery dart they can muster.”

But NB, spiritual warfare is not a dualistic battle between equals, as Satan is a created being, not equal and opposite with God. Rather, we are empowered by God to co-labour with him as he advances the kingdom in a world deceived and enslaved by Satan.

Forms spiritual warfare might take on the mission field:

1.     Personal struggles: depression, discouragement, tiredness, loneliness, even disillusionment with mission, doubt re calling or faith, spiritual dryness, anxiety

2.     Interpersonal struggles: discord, irritation with fellow-missionaries, marital problems

3.     Work-related struggles: lack of fruit, obstacles in work

4.     Overtly demonic events/power struggles – demonic possession etc

How to be Prepared:

1.  Key is intimacy with God. NB !!!!! “Jesus did not do miracles, live a holy life and overcome the enemy because he was God. He did so because he depended on the Father and the power of his Spirit for everything he did and said (John 4:24; 5:19,20,30; 6:38; 6:57). So can we." 

2. Ephesians 6:10-20

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord, and in the strength of His might. 11 Put on the full armor of God, that you may be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore, take up the full armor of God, that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. 14 Stand firm therefore, having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming missiles of the evil one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints, 19 and pray on my behalf, that utterance may be given to me in the opening of my mouth, to make known with boldness the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in proclaiming it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.

Back to me writing this evening in my bed, pretty tired after my day.

Looking back on my time in Uganda, I feel as though I met with a lot of opposition as described above. I am just not sure if I ever consciously gave it this name, - did I? - spiritual warfare, and if I actually prayed my way through Ephesians 6, as I should have on a daily basis. As I told my students this morning, when you even start to think about going on missions, you provoke the enemy, let alone when you are actually there, doing the work, living the life. There are so many potential pitfalls on the mission field, and they have human and natural and climatic and geographic and social and political causes. Mostly, Satan does not cause the problems we deal with every day. Sometimes, he does. Either way, he tries to use them to wind us up, wear us out, discourage us, turn us off. 

I am just saying to myself and to everyone involved in God's mission in the world wherever that might be, but especially if you have taken the huge step of moving countries and moving out of your comfort zone to work for God's kingdom, that you are definitely involved in spiritual warfare, and that every weapon available will be turned against you, but, you have Jesus and the Spirit and the Word of God and prayer and worship and fellowship and all the armour listed in Ephesians 6 - so: be prepared, and use all your resources, and see it for what it is, an all-important, daily battle. 

Slippery Slope...

My lecture today on the Preparation for Living and Working Cross-culturally course (Thrive!) was about emotional health, and keeping it. Well, hindsight is the best teacher, they say! Fortunately, I had the notes from the wonderful lady who normally teaches this lecture but is off on sabbatical. I found it enlightening and helpful as I prepared it, and I thought some bits of it might be worth posting.

Mags based the lecture on the Beatitudes (when Jesus says, "Blessed are those who..."), and suggests that they are Jesus' reflections on his experience of living cross-culturally - ie living on earth as a human being! And actually, if you read them in the light of living outside your home culture, you will notice how amazingly relevant they are...

Blessed are the poor in spirit...
Blessed are those who mourn...
Blessed are the meek...
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness...
Blessed are the merciful...
Blessed are the pure in heart...
Blessed are the peacemakers...
Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake...
Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you...

One student pointed out that they are not qualities to be aspired to, at least, not all of them. But, they are states of mind which we will find ourselves in, in which we should rejoice because they will make us better, they will make us "blessed." So we should feel strongly our dependence on God, we should recognize our losses and grieve them, we should be meek in approaching others and another culture, we should strive to be righteous in everything we do, we should treat others with mercy, etc etc.
This last one, treating others with mercy, not judgement, is a real help when it comes to working and living alongside people of other cultures and sometimes other viewpoints, other parenting methods, other opinions...

Another part of Mags' lecture that I used and thought was very helpful is the slippery slope of the Ds:

Beware the Ds...:

Disappointment – when we fail to live up to our own expectations, or when our expectations of others or of our role are not met etc etc - we can experience disappointment which can lead to…

Doubt – of ourselves, of our calling, am I meant to be here... of God’s ability to care for us, that leads to…

Discouragement – so we begin to lose heart and lose motivation and energy, which leads to…

Depression – where our spirit is broken and that can lead to…    (= burn-out;)

Despair. Paul experienced this, see 2 Cor 1:8  Prov 18:14

Yes I get this! So I told the students, this really happens. But if you are aware of what is going on, you don't need to slide down the slope... If you feel the process starting, if you feel disappointment or resentment or if you start to doubt you are meant to be where you are, stop, and listen to it. See the flashing lights. Identify what expectation is not being met. Pray about it. If it is because your expectation was faulty, ask God to help you Let It Go. Ask him to show you what other thing he has for you, because, he does have something for you. Clearly, the further down the slope you go, the harder it is to climb back up.

Whilst our emotional health might seem like a worthy sacrifice to make for the kingdom, (as in the title of Marjory Foyle's very good book, "Honourably Wounded," about missionary stress) - I don't believe God wants us to sacrifice it, he wants us to thrive where he plants us, he wants us to be well, to be blessed. But, he knows us. It is not a sin to slide. God will bring good out of it.