Slippery Slope...

My lecture today on the Preparation for Living and Working Cross-culturally course (Thrive!) was about emotional health, and keeping it. Well, hindsight is the best teacher, they say! Fortunately, I had the notes from the wonderful lady who normally teaches this lecture but is off on sabbatical. I found it enlightening and helpful as I prepared it, and I thought some bits of it might be worth posting.

Mags based the lecture on the Beatitudes (when Jesus says, "Blessed are those who..."), and suggests that they are Jesus' reflections on his experience of living cross-culturally - ie living on earth as a human being! And actually, if you read them in the light of living outside your home culture, you will notice how amazingly relevant they are...

Blessed are the poor in spirit...
Blessed are those who mourn...
Blessed are the meek...
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness...
Blessed are the merciful...
Blessed are the pure in heart...
Blessed are the peacemakers...
Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake...
Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you...

One student pointed out that they are not qualities to be aspired to, at least, not all of them. But, they are states of mind which we will find ourselves in, in which we should rejoice because they will make us better, they will make us "blessed." So we should feel strongly our dependence on God, we should recognize our losses and grieve them, we should be meek in approaching others and another culture, we should strive to be righteous in everything we do, we should treat others with mercy, etc etc.
This last one, treating others with mercy, not judgement, is a real help when it comes to working and living alongside people of other cultures and sometimes other viewpoints, other parenting methods, other opinions...

Another part of Mags' lecture that I used and thought was very helpful is the slippery slope of the Ds:

Beware the Ds...:

Disappointment – when we fail to live up to our own expectations, or when our expectations of others or of our role are not met etc etc - we can experience disappointment which can lead to…

Doubt – of ourselves, of our calling, am I meant to be here... of God’s ability to care for us, that leads to…

Discouragement – so we begin to lose heart and lose motivation and energy, which leads to…

Depression – where our spirit is broken and that can lead to…    (= burn-out;)

Despair. Paul experienced this, see 2 Cor 1:8  Prov 18:14

Yes I get this! So I told the students, this really happens. But if you are aware of what is going on, you don't need to slide down the slope... If you feel the process starting, if you feel disappointment or resentment or if you start to doubt you are meant to be where you are, stop, and listen to it. See the flashing lights. Identify what expectation is not being met. Pray about it. If it is because your expectation was faulty, ask God to help you Let It Go. Ask him to show you what other thing he has for you, because, he does have something for you. Clearly, the further down the slope you go, the harder it is to climb back up.

Whilst our emotional health might seem like a worthy sacrifice to make for the kingdom, (as in the title of Marjory Foyle's very good book, "Honourably Wounded," about missionary stress) - I don't believe God wants us to sacrifice it, he wants us to thrive where he plants us, he wants us to be well, to be blessed. But, he knows us. It is not a sin to slide. God will bring good out of it. 

  

Teaching again!

Today I went back to teaching! I have joined the part-time Redcliffe College staff, teaching a course called Thrive!, - which aims to prepare students for working and living cross-culturally. It's a very practical course with lots of room for telling stories and sharing experiences, role plays etc. Missio friends, don't worry, I shall use false names!!

I was needless to say really nervous, waking up early yesterday and today with my stomach full of butterflies. I was afraid about that and a bit discouraged, thinking it meant I haven't got over the whole anxiety thing... but I have always, my whole life, got nervous before teaching or speaking, and always once I am up in front talking and communicating, I am completely fine. So I told myself this was normal nerves, not abnormal ones... Dan reminded me that teaching this course is about the students, not about me. Putting it in that proper perspective really helped too. My job is to help equip them, not to "be a great teacher". Anyway, I can now relate to something I read, that when anxiety has become problematic, half the battle can be being anxious about being anxious. I get that.

My class is delightful, about twenty students, and I loved it. It reminded me that I do enjoy teaching, and I can do it! What a relief!

As part of the introduction to the course I used the following handout based on the word THRIVE, which was made up by the person who originally taught the course at Redcliffe. I don't know who. So it is not my own - but I thought some of you might like it and relate to it.

T - To be, not just to do...

H - Hold on to your calling

R - Reasonable expectations - of yourself, of the culture you are going to, of what you will do, - and making sure your supporters have reasonable expectations too

I - I need to look after myself

V - Vulnerability - not to fall into the trap of saying "I'm OK" when you need help/encouragement

E - Elasticity - being flexible - in every way probably.


... Six things to help you thrive on the mission field.