So I have been working at my new job as Librarian for the Westminster Theological College, for three weeks now. It is more like being a virtual librarian than a real one, in that, the libraries I have to manage and order books for are in nine study centres all over the UK. So I don't actually see the books - I have to order them for the nine centres, who are all at different stages of acquiring the required books (so there are some scary spreadsheets involved, including the master-plan and then multiple stages of record- keeping. Once books have been ordered they have to be entered on the online catalogue system - which I don't know how to do yet. Bar codes and Dewey numbers have to be printed and sent out by post to the nine different centres for them to stick onto the books when they arrive. Once books have been paid for there is a monthly tracking record to be produced, which I also don't know how to do yet.... Part of it is that the old librarian is too busy (hence handing on the job) to spend enough time with me to show me - although he has spent a lot of time with me -, so we are doing it in stages, and I am doing my best to keep up with what I do know how to do. But meanwhile, the directors of the nine Hubs (teaching centres) are emailing me about particular books the catalogue says they have, which they don't have, books which they do have which don't appear on the system, books which have the wrong barcodes on, barcodes which are peeling off, barcode scanners which are not working... Heeeeelp!!!
But I am now at the stage of feeling that I understand the stages of what I have to do, and I know I can do them. But there is this sizeable backlog of small issues, books which are missing and have to be replaced, books which were ordered a year ago, paid for and never arrived, problems which need solving, and I just don't see how I can do it all in 7 - 10 hours a week.
On the other hand, I love the organisation, it is pretty cool - all the study centres have lectures on Monday and Tuesday evenings, some recorded on dvds, and some given via live skype links with the lecturer, who might be in Canada, north of England, London... There are also some "live" lectures and there are also seminars via skype where the lecturer appears as a huge head on the screen and can see all the students, and he speaks to them by name - it is really space-age - like Star Trek as someone put it.
Before the evening sessions begin, there is lovely worship and prayer. The college came out of New Wine which is a charismatic Anglican movement, and so that is the genre of the whole set-up. My colleagues are lovely people who are kind and helpful, and I really enjoy being with them.
I am thankful to God for this job. We needed me to have an income. And in the current climate, jobs are not easy to come by. I feel that it is God-given. And there are all these really good things about it.
But it is stretching me, which is probably good for me. I haven't been stretched in this way, to doing something new and challenging, that I am actually being paid for and with responsibility attached, - with a lot of people depending on me to sort this all out, and get it right, fast - for a long time.
But I have been feeling pretty stressed about it, to the extent that I have been waking up in the early hours feeling tense, tearful, wondering if I have made a mistake... Yet rationally I know I'll be OK, and that I can do it, and once I have got to grips with all the elements of the job I am pretty convinced I will love it. And every single day, when I come back from work I feel completely fine and sure that it is going to be great. But the next morning I wake up a nervous wreck again.
So this nervousness might be my anxiety working over-time, it might be thyroid related, - or it might be that with all the changes and uncertainties we have gone through in the last five months I am more strung out than I realised. Or it might be spiritual.
Anyway, I would appreciate your prayers for me as I deal with this, and as I learn the last few bits I need to learn - and that I'll be able to get the book order I am working on done in time for the new module which is starting soon!!
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