The chocolate cure...

This week we met up with some lovely friends for lunch, who returned from Uganda three years ago. When they left, they thought they would return for another term, but then things worked out otherwise, so the husband went back to Kampala to pack up their house, and they have not gone back again. They were in Uganda for two years, and have now been back in England three years, and yet still Uganda and their experiences there are close to the surface. We had such a great time talking about people there and the things we went through, and the challenges of life there, and the huge adjustment it is coming back.

It made me realise that we still have a long way to go with this transition. A short while ago, I was thinking that the reason for this blog was nearly over, and I might stop writing it soon. Superficially all the transitional hurdles have been overcome: home (albeit renting), schools, jobs (but I need more hours so am looking for something else as well), car, shopping habits - all sorted. I am even coping OK with the cleaning...!

But emotionally it is still all quite strange. Do we feel at home here yet? I would say not. Partly since we have only just finished visiting our link churches, so we have only had two consecutive weekends here in Gloucester, so we still don't know what our weekend routines will be. What will take the place of the Saturday/Sunday afternoon Colline swim? What will take the place of Kingfisher? We don't yet know. And we haven't yet settled on a church, which is still a huge decision ahead. We are in a bit of a dilemma about church...

But I think we all feel positive about our life here, and a bit more relaxed. It really is a matter of time. We were told on our retreat for returning missionaries, that for every three years you live "on the field" it will take a year back at home to feel really at home. And then, the more integrated you were with the local culture, the longer that can stretch to, or vice-versa. That means for us it could potentially take five or six years to feel at home! Help!

So I have decided to be more patient with myself, and also, to treat myself more. I dreamed recently that I was given a tiny baby to look after, and I just tucked it under my arm and carried on with whatever I was doing, and in my dream I kept accidentally squashing the baby's head and then kind of rubbing it and saying, "It's OK." At one point the baby ended up lying face down on the ground and looked all wrinkly and desperate. Then I picked it up and gave it more loving attention until it revived a bit. Then I woke up, feeling pretty guilty about this poor baby. But I wondered if I was also the baby in the dream.

So I have turned to chocolate! I can literally feel the endorphins flowing when I eat it. So good!