A few times in my life, usually when something difficult has been happening, I have had a metaphor or a story pop into my head which interprets for me what is happening. The narrative (to make this sound trendier) can be powerful as a way of understanding and therefore dealing with something real that is happening in one's life.
So to give one soppy example, when I was first in love with Dan and he was leaving England to go back to the US to finish his studies, and we didn't know when we would see each other next, but I was so sad to say goodbye, I had a large pink rose blossom in a little jar on my desk, that we had picked together, and when Dan had gone I pressed the blossom between two heavy books, and I thought to myself that just as I would be able to take the pressed flower out in a few weeks and it would be beautiful forever, so our relationship was being put away for a period of time, but we could come back to it at some as of then unknown time in the future and it would have been preserved in all its beauty. That image helped me in moving on with life in the meantime and finishing my own MA studies.
A couple of months ago, when I was feeling quite discouraged about being so anxious and feeling that it was the result probably of some years of stress and tiredness, an unwelcome image came to me that I was lying on the ground, a broken stick. But soon after that I was reading 2 Corinthians, the passage about having the treasure of God's blessings in jars of clay. I realised that God was showing me I was not useless and hopeless like a broken stick, but rather I was just a slightly worn out clay jar, which he was still using, and could still fix up and beautify for his purposes. That made me feel so much better!
And this weekend, I had a disagreement with someone, which threatened to revive the horrible old anxiety, and at first I felt as though there was a deep round pit full of water which I had been rescued from, but now I had been pushed back into it. But then this morning in church I saw a picture that rather than being back down in that hole, I was like a child who has been pushed over in the playground, but who can get up and brush themselves off and carry on. The metaphor makes all the difference. One story makes me feel defeated and hopeless, the other makes me able to get up and move on. And it makes a real emotional difference to me. The physical feeling of a heavy rock in my stomach melted away. Why are these pictures so powerful? And, where do they come from?
I remember years ago a speaker talking about how God wants us to be, yes of course humble, but also sitting on the throne with him, confident in him, able to sit up straight and to act and make a difference. Satan on the other hand wants us to be cowering on the floor, feeling afraid, doubtful, and useless.
I think these images are spiritual, and the ones that make me able to function and move forward are from God, whilst the ones that make me feel useless, broken, or lacking in confidence and certainty, are not.
I don't mean that God wants us to feel self-confident or complacent or that we are perfect and can do no wrong. But the times when I know I have let God down, he doesn't make me feel like a broken stick. That picture is just not from God. I think he shows us how we have failed but how we can do so much better, how he still loves us even so. You come away from that encounter feeling humble but hopeful and determined, rather than like a failure and useless.
So I think we shouldn't be fooled by the images that pop into our heads. We should think about them and ask, is this story a Godly interpretation of what I am going through? Or is this a way of bringing me down and preventing me from living positively?
I love how pictures are used in the Bible powerfully. One of my favourites is the beginning of Psalm 40 where the writer says, "God lifted me out of the mud and mire, he set my feet upon a rock and put songs of praise in my mouth." That picture is how I want to be.
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