Well after a few Christmas days of eating, drinking, enjoying friends, family, games, and cosy log fires... that early morning worrying, that seems to be focussed on my new job, came back with a vengeance. Without going into detail, I now know what a real panic attack feels like, and have rapidly become a firm fan of beta blockers! So far the conclusion of those I have talked to seems to be that it is most likely an accumulation of all the stress of the last year, finally bursting out, after all the uncertainties have been slotted into place. Honestly we have so much to be thankful for, so many answered prayers, yet at times I am more tense now than I have ever felt in my life before.
I started back at work today and it went fine. I am off tomorrow. But come Thursday morning the nerves will be back, if the pattern continues. I would appreciate prayers that we can sort it out properly, and for me to get enough routine and rest and exercise and alone time so that I can get my balance back, and know God's peace and joy.
Not a great start to 2012. Let's pray it will end up being a fruitful and amazing year, for you and for us too as we continue to find our feet here in Gloucester.
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