Something I learned today...

Today Dan and I were in the car, driving across the Cotswolds to visit my godmother, who is suddenly very ill. In spite of the circumstances, it was also good to have a chance to be going away somewhere together, just the two of us.

But I learned something I should have realised before, about Dan. He is actually immune to stress. I did kind of know that before. But today, I was trying to explain to him why the anxiety feelings I have been getting are unbearable rather than just a nuisance. I compared it to having, nearly all the time, the tingling sensation that shoots through your body when you nearly have a car crash, for example, or when you have a near miss of any kind. I assume most of you know what I mean - that feeling of a sudden rush of adrenalin zooming through your veins, bursting though your chest and along your limbs. Some mornings recently I have been getting that whenever the phone rings, whenever the children told me they were hungry, whenever anything was asked of me. Which is why I am now trying to get it dealt with. But when I described that to Dan he told me that, No, he never gets that feeling. Never. He has never had that burst of tingling through his veins. This explains a lot... No wonder he could stand on top of the bunjee jump at the Jinja Nile Resort, looking around happily and waving his arms over his head - unlike my brother who had his eyes closed and was praying! No wonder he can jump off eighty foot cliffs into a rolling river, and encourage our ten year old son that in a couple of years he can do the same. No wonder he can wait until eleven o clock the night before preaching a sermon to start preparing. He never feels nervous!

I am simply amazed that Dan is being so kind and patient with me when he has NO CLUE how I have been feeling. I mean, he understands, he sympathises, but he has no experience of it himself. Wow. Lucky him. But I do wonder how he is still alive.